Confidence Isn't a Pipe Dream

Guys, if I'm being totally honest, confidence in a hard thing to come by for me. That's not to say I don't feel it - I feel confidence with my work most days, my friendships and relationships with my family, confidence about my personality and who I am, etc...BUT there are several things I know about myself to be true:

• I get nervous meeting new people, I worry they will not like me and this often deters me from opening up
• Big groups of people terrify me, especially when I don't have anyone to fall back on
• When I'm out at the bar, I often avoid eye contact with people I find attractive - I also am afraid to let lose and have a good time

I could keep going. But I'll spare you! The point is, for as confident as I am with my insides, my outsides hold me back. I'm currently on a tough wellness journey and I say wellness because it's not all about losing weight. I started this journey in an effort for my insides to match my outsides a little better. Finally get the Ashley that I know to be true, out of her shell and dancing at parties. 

I'm 30 pounds down, but above all else, I'm 5 months stronger, less stressed, and more confident. So much so that I've shocked myself in the past few weeks. Here's how: 

• I went out a few weekends ago and danced like I didn't have a care in the world - I felt SO confident that night. It payed off...I met someone!
• The next night, I went out again (rare for me) and just let loose with friends. When a really handsome guy came over to dance with me, my first thought was, "this has to be a joke," but then I mustered up my confidence and had the best time. He chose to dance with me. Most likely because I looked confident..I wasn't avoiding eye contact this time! *Insert the salsa dancing emoji here*
• Stayed with a friend last weekend who invited me to breakfast the next day with a group of people I had never met. Instead of passing like I might have done in the past, I went and had a great time meeting new people!
• Then later that night, even though I wasn't feeling up to it, I took up my friends offer to grab dinner and drinks and made friends with some people at the bar.

All of this I can tell you is me finding my confidence. Whatever be the reason for finding and connecting with it more, it's finally happening and what a difference it has made!

Being confident sometimes is just about pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone, which I know...hard. It's not fun, but I feel like all my best memories happen when I do so. 

I'll leave you with this: